I figured something out. You know Rafiki? That monkey guy from The Lion King? He’s totally gay.
First off, he lives alone. He’s got no lady friends. No female monkies in his dating pool. So who is he hangin’ with? That’s right, Simba. A guy.
Next, check out his hobbies. When he’s not hanging out with Simba, he’s painting pictures of Simba:
That’s totally gay. I mean, how many famous painters were gay? Like, all of them. At least, all the ones that were also monkeys.
Point three: His stick. His stick is totally suggestive. It’s two berries on top of a long pole. A loooooooong pole. And they’re pretty big berries. What’s he carrying that thing around for, anyways? That’s right, to tap shit. Specifically, guys. That’s right, he taps guys with his stick.
Final point: Rafiki is a mandrill. Maybe a baboon. Distinctive feature: blue butt. What does that make you think of? Assless chaps. I rest my case.
Ed. Note – There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is totally cool. It’s just Rafiki is gay. All I’m sayin’.
