So there I am reading my feeds. I love my feeds. This feed is in my feeds just ‘cause I like reading my feeds so much, right? Guess what pops up:
How to Avoid Genetically Modified Foods
I see this and I’m like “That’s whack!” ‘Cause it is. I really don’t understand society or whatever’s aversion to genetically modified food. I guess it’s because the Hulk turned out so well. But peoples, we’re not gamma-raying food here, we’re tossing a few ATGCs into corn so we don’t have to use as many pesticides. That’s waaay better. Besides, what’s the worst case scenario if you eat genetically modified foods?
That’s right, super powers.
You know it’s going to happen. Some poor 10-year-old is finally gonna listen to his mother and eat his vegetables. His genetically modified vegetables! But some underpaid scientist got an A and a G mixed up when he was hand-writing a new species of carrot, immediately granting this kid the power of REALLY FREAKIN’ AWESOME EYESIGHT (‘cause that’s what carrots do). Having read all the comic books, this kid goes on to fight crime!
Little old lady: “Somebody stole my purse! Did anyone see who?!”
REALLY-GOOD EYESIGHT LAD: “Indeed I did! Have no fear,
Brainflash. His super-hero name is now “Peeping Tom.”
Little old lady: “Somebody stole my purse! Did anyone see who?!”
Peeping Tom: “Indeed I did! Have no fear, Peeping Tom is here!”
‘Course, he’d get old quick.
Random bystander: “Oh no! I dropped my contact! Did anyone see where?!”
Peeping Tom: “Indeed I did! Have no fear… aw fuck it.”
Back to what I was talking about.
Used to be we trusted scientists. We trusted doctors. They went to college and earned a degree for a reason. That incredibly sexy lab coat meant something. It got you respect. In the right bars, you got you free drinks. In the good bars, it fucking got you laid. You smoked a pipe with a lab coat, à la a very geeky Hugh Hefner. These days, no one trusts the scientists. They think CNN knows more about science than a Ph.D.! I think this is the truest sign of the demise of America as the future: when people don’t trust the power of SCIENCE (it works, bitches) and turn instead to poorly researched or downright untrustworthy sources.
So eat GM, dagnabbit!
